Witness a good journey
Photo by Saugat Giri on Unsplash
The other day a friend wrote me that her buddy had fallen off the wagon. This is something I think about often… When both buddies fall off the wagon, well, there is a sort of mutuality that makes it not such a big deal. But when one buddy falls off and the other wants to continue, this is challenging.
The buddy who wants to continue may feel frustrated, rejected, disappointed, etc… The buddy who steps back, and many have good reasons, may feel guilt, even shame - and no one wants that! Ironically, the more we heap it on ourselves, the harder it is to get back to what we committed to…. So in that spirit, all buddies are asked to communicate openly, and speak up if they can’t follow-through. Hopefully, the other buddy can find someone else, if they so choose. This is something I will continue to think about… and I also welcome ideas….
In that same message, my friend referred to a Gratitude Buddy as a “witness” - and this really struck me. Actually, I loved it. Up til now, I have been using the term “accountability partner” and something about that feels austere and uninviting. But witness - yes. I want to a witness, sometimes I really want one. And I think, actually, that’s what we all want, need and crave in this humanly existence - to be seen, to be witnessed, to have our day-to-day lives matter to another person….
At the same time, “to witness” - is to take on a responsibility - and a worthy responsibility! We extend ourselves into someone else’s world - we see, we witness, we let another person know that their day-to-day existence matters. We flourish not just by being witnessed, but by witnessing.
In a different conversation, another friend asked me, if in this whole venture, I want to be a “gratitude coach.”
“Oh, no…” I answered, “I am far too miserable for that!” (Partly a joke, but also partly not. :)
The word “witness” helps me clarify what it is that I do want to do - to create a beautiful journey, and I do hope it to be beautiful, that is seen and witnessed by another person. Sometimes that will be someone we already know, ideally creating a deeper connection, and sometimes it will be someone we meet and get to know. Sometimes, it may be for a brief moment in time and other times, for a longer duration.
When thinking about a cute tagline for Gratitude Buddies, I’ve been drawn to: “ Gratitude Buddies: Finding good together” - but now I am also liking: “Gratitude Buddies: Witness a good journey” In the latter, we are called to become something greater, we are called to witness.
Your thoughts on this are welcome.
Ps, in this pic, it looks like two women on a journey, but I am very happy to report that we have had many men here, and they also witness a good journey…
