30 Day Gratitude Buddies Guided Journey
30 Days

Day 2: What Gratitude IS and what it is NOT

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….and what is it to you?

Gratitude seems like a pretty simple concept:

it’s all about giving thanks, right?

Yes, but Dr. Robert Emmons, one of the world’s most well-regarded experts on all things gratitude, says that: “Gratitude defies easy classification. It has been conceptualized as an emotion, an attitude, a moral virtue, a habit, a personality trait, or a coping response.”

For our purposes in the Gratitude Buddies journey, we will focus on four aspects of gratitude:

  • cognitive: thinking about and writing down a gratitude list

  • emotional: the emotion of gratitude can arise spontaneously, but being intentional about cultivating it, such as through journaling or meditation, makes it more natural in our lives

  • action-oriented: we are taking the time to notice, write and share; some days we will also focus on the act of expressing thanks to others

  • habit or discipline: we are turning gratitude into a habit and committing to it even during challenging days. At some point, if we keep it up, we may begin to feel like being grateful has become a personality trait.

A few other noteworthy points about gratitude:

  • Like meditation, gratitude is now very well-researched. There are now more than 2700 studies on PubMed exploring the impacts of gratitude.

  • The research generally associates gratitude with a wide range of benefits related to physical and mental health, including better sleep, more exercise, less anxiety and depression, less suicidal ideation, better relationships, and more.

  • Understandings of gratitude can vary across cultures.

  • There are many wonderful resources out there dedicated to gratitude, including websites, books, journals and more.

  • It’s also important to read what “gratitude” is NOT - to help us avoid extra frustration (see Below).

Will gratitude solve all my problems?

Well, no, of course not. But then, yes, in a way, it might! From a mindfulness perspective, we seek to live our lives in moments. Not years, months, days, or even hours. If you’ve ever had a moment where you feel awakened or even overtaken by love or gratitude - and this does happen to me and particularly in meditation - it feels like for a moment our problems have actually dissolved. It’s as if, for that moment, we’ve stepped into another dimension. This is why I recommend practicing with meditation: because at some point I think we can all get there. Yes, we come back to the “real world”, but often with a different perspective.

For Reflection: for some people having a gratitude practice is about the health benefits; for others it’s becoming more positive and for others, there is a spiritual dimension. What does gratitude mean to you? Why is this practice important to you or what do you hope to gain from it?

What gratitude is NOT

  • All emotions are a healthy part of being human; having a gratitude practice doesn’t mean shutting yourself or your loved ones down

  • If you have a major problem in your life, you’re probably going to have to deal with it at some point; while we can choose to appreciate what shows up in our lives, and what it’s meant to teach us, that won’t necessarily make problems go away

  • Gratitude is not saying: even though my boss is a tyrant, I should keep my mouth shut and be grateful; nor is it about accepting an unjust status quo. It is, however, asking for a broader perspective and wiser action.

  • A gratitude practice is a tool in the toolbox. There are many others: expressive journaling, good nutrition, meditation, mindful walking, yoga, breathing, therapy, exercise, etc

  • Meditation options:

    1) A 3 Minute Meditation on What Is Gratitude To You

    2) An 8 minute general gratitude meditation with music (if you practice with a Buddy)

    OR

    If you are short on time, this 3 breath practice can be done after you write your list:

    With eyes closed or lowered gaze

    Inhale for 5 counts

    Hold for 5 counts

    On the exhale, call to mind the 1st item on your list.

    Repeat with the second and third items

    You can also try to add a smile or hand on chest to this practice

Gratitude Message for your Buddy

After writing, scroll down to the GREEN button: ‘SEND TODAY’S MESSAGE.’

DO NOT click on the PINK button at the bottom right or you will lose what you have written.

Optional prompt

Day 2: Meaning of Gratitude

Today you’re invited to reflect what gratitude means to you.