30 Days
What’s under your nose?
We all have been given the gift of attention. But many of us fail to appreciate how powerful it is; how energy flows where attention goes. Likely, at least part of the reason you’ve come on this gratitude journey is because that resonates with you. Our attention can either be used to enhance our wellbeing or to disrupt it, based on what kind of thoughts we nurture, the media we consume, how we use our technology and the type of conversations we habitually engage in.
Even though we may not always recognize our attention as a gift, tech companies do. They have become notorious for harnessing the “attention economy” for their benefit. For many of us, the result has been feeling addicted, distracted and over-stimulated.
***
In the past few decades, mindfulness has become a well-known term in popular culture. Mindfulness is about both a) present-moment attention and b) the quality of that attention. When we practice mindful attention, we are open, curious, kind and receptive to the present moment. This can include how we relate to external stimuli, like a flower we hold, or internal stimuli, like a flood of feelings.
Mindful attention can transform our relationship with the present moment: whether that is learning to tolerate and be curious about difficult emotions, taste food more deliberately, or awaken to the good that has been in our lives all long.
In some moments, mindful attention to the present moment will certainly be easier than in others. But over time, it becomes increasingly accessible.
“Mindfulness means paying attention to what’s happening in the present moment in the mind, body and external environment, with an attitude of curiosity and kindness.”
- Mindful Nation UK
As we learned on Day 2, Gratitude has been very well-studied over the last few decades, with nearly 3,000 listed on PubMed. However, these studies aren’t always consistent and this got me wondering why.
My theory comes down to three points:
Firstly, life offers no one single silver bullet. It’s very hard to isolate any single one practice and expect it to change everything for everybody. For this reason, Gratitude Buddies seeks to address gratitude holistically, inside a broader framework, looking at related and supportive concepts, like mindfulness, self-compassion, purpose, laughter, etc.
The second part relates to mindfulness and has two parts:
What’s the voice in your head like? What’s its tone? How does it speak to you? It’s not totally realistic to expect that writing 3 gratitude items a day will completely turn our lives around if we spend the rest of our day judging, complaining, beating ourselves up.
Over this 30 Day Journey, you are encouraged to become aware of the voice inside your head and begin to guide it, more or more, to one that is gentle and loving - to you and to everyone you around you. In this regard, the optional meditations may help.
Do you give yourself space to feel hard feelings? Also connected to mindfulness, and as discussed in the last section, a gratitude practice can’t erase difficult feelings and experiences. As we will see later on, our difficult feelings may be difficult but they aren’t “bad” per se. Ultimately, we come to more peaceful lives by allowing space to feel anger, fear, grief, etc in a healthy way.
When you think about your gratitude list today, reflect on this idea of attention.
You may wish to consider - how am I using my attention?
How could I be using it in a way that better supports me?
You may even wish to go out for a walk today - and look closer, more deliberately. What do you notice? Or consider creating a cue in your home that reminds you about where and how you are using your attention.
Optional
-
Your options:
1) 3 Minute Meditation on Attention
2) 8 Minute General Gratitude Meditation (if you practice with a Buddy)
OR
If you are short on time, this 3 breath practice can be done after you write your list:
With eyes closed or lowered gaze:
Inhale for 5 counts
Hold for 5 counts
On the exhale, call to mind the 1st item on your list.
Repeat with the second and third items
You can also try to add a smile or hand on chest to this practice
Gratitude Message for your Buddy
After writing, scroll down to the GREEN button: ‘SEND TODAY’S MESSAGE.’
DO NOT click on the PINK button at the bottom right or you will lose what you have written.
Optional prompt
Day 3: The Gift of Attention
Today you’re invited to reflect on how you use your attention.