30 Days
gratitude comes to life in a heart of self-love
With self-love, our gratitude practices reaches its full potential
Many of us, at this point in human history, recognize the value of appreciating and honoring ourselves on our life’s journey. But that doesn’t mean it comes naturally. For many of us, some combination of nature and nurture have made self-love very challenging.
But like gratitude, for many of us, self-love is a practice. It is a muscle we build by cultivating a kind voice in our heads, looking into the mirror and finding something we like, acknowledging our virtues and small wins.
Another way to build self-love is to practice self-compassion: to allow ourselves grace when we make a mistake, to understand that suffering is part of the shared human experience and to recognize that very often “good enough” is indeed “good enough.”
In the accompanying poem, James Crewe shares what self-compassion can look like, even if at first it may feel a little awkward. :)
Self-Compassion
by James CrewsMy friend and I snickered the first time
we heard the meditation teacher, a grown man,
call himself honey, with a hand placed
over his heart to illustrate how we too
might become more gentle with ourselves
and our runaway minds. It’s been years
since we sat with legs twisted on cushions,
holding back our laughter, but today
I found myself crouched on the floor again,
not meditating exactly, just agreeing
to be still, saying honey to myself each time
I thought about my husband splayed
on the couch with aching joints and fever
from a tick bite—what if he never gets better?—
or considered the threat of more wildfires,
the possible collapse of the Gulf Stream,
then remembered that in a few more minutes,
I’d have to climb down to the cellar and empty
the bucket I placed beneath a leaky pipe
that can’t be fixed until next week. How long
do any of us really have before the body
begins to break down and empty its mysteries
into the air? Oh honey, I said—for once
without a trace of irony or blush of shame—
the touch of my own hand on my chest
like that of a stranger, oddly comforting
in spite of the facts.
Over time, staying with our practice during more challenging days can begin to feel rewarding. Our practice may even offer a little salvation on a difficult day
At the same time, you didn’t come here to practice gratitude perfectly. For many different reasons, missing a day happens; so just pick up where you left off. If you should come to a day when you feel you can’t practice at all - because you need a hug more than a gratitude practice, that is totally understandable. You can look at this page about gratitude blocks for ideas on how to move through or let your buddy know what’s happening.
If you feel you can’t make it back, tell your buddy so they can find someone new.
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1) A 3 Self-Compassion Minute Meditation focused on accepting ourselves just as we are.
2) 8 Minute General Gratitude Meditation, with music
OR
If you are short on time, this 3 breath practice can be done after you write your list:
With eyes closed or lowered gaze
Inhale for 5 counts
Hold for 5 counts
On the exhale, call to mind the 1st item on your list
Repeat with the second and third items
You can also try to add a smile or hand on chest to this practice
Gratitude Message for your Buddy
After writing, scroll down to the GREEN button: ‘SEND TODAY’S MESSAGE.’
DO NOT click on the PINK button at the bottom right or you will lose what you have written.
Optional prompt
Day 6: Self-love and compassion
Today you’re invited to reflect on the connection between self-love, self-compassion and gratitude.